ICHOR

I am a fading dandelion
Delicate and beautiful,
Till you know what flows in me
You wont come near me
Fearing me, or fearing what’s inside me?
I liken myself to filth,
And run from temples to hospitals
Seeking for a compassion
Only to end up sitting at the feet of Gods,
Begging for a little mercy
God, I have sinned just once.

A fading dandelion in a field of roses
Like a candle burning away unnoticed,
I cry myself to sleep every night
Holding my womb,
Wishing for a child.
But how inhuman would it be.
to bear an angel poisoned by my placenta
But God, I have sinned just once…

I feel trapped between the walls of my mind
Feeling unloved and unworthy
All my life.
Harassed for my femininity and beauty
Tales of my nakedness and
Sharp words pierce into my heart
Bringing me to despair
Yet I remain stoic, unable to expire.
Just once, I have sinned just once.

I let my soul take control tonight Slitting my throat ruthlessly
My soul will be set free
And this body, dead and in peace
In my limited time constraints
I was born just once, a sinful birth
My life was a sin…
Mother, why did you gift me AIDS?

And leave me, is this your demeanor?
As my heart slowly stops to sleep,
I remember, a heart which only craved for love
Sadly, I was born this way
A blood-made cursed human this life human
Perhaps, a goddess in the next life
Whose ichor could kill my enemy
My enemy AIDS, you can’t defeat a goddess
For once, I was a human living with you
Forsaken and forgotten But I will destroy you soon,
For the future lies in my gore.